Narcissism and the Effectiveness of Quanta Freedom™ Healing
Recovery from Narcissistic abuse requires so much more than contemporary solutions.....
by Melanie Tonia Evans

Please note that this article is specifically positioned in regard to narcissistic love relationships. However, it should be noted that the information following is also relevant for any narcissistic situation that a victim may be suffering from, such as via a family member or any other impacting association.

The results of narcissistic abuse are devastating

No-one could even begin to understand the anguish of becoming a ‘shell’, the racking of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and feeling like a vile ink has poisoned your entire system, as a result of being narcissistically abused.

Try to imagine walking around like a lifeless corpse barely functioning, with intense surges of horror surging through your body constantly, and you may begin to get an idea of what narcissistic abuse feels like. If you’ve experienced, or are experiencing narcissistic abuse, you’ll totally concur.

The effects of narcissistic abuse can be likened to being in ‘the bowels of hell’. Additionally there are manic and obsessive torturous thoughts regarding the injustice, degradation and insanity that just don’t make sense, no matter how hard you try to.

You feel like you’ve lost your mind, and may even struggle to understand what is or isn’t real, as well as lose all faith in yourself to decipher the difference. One thing is for certain, and that is - you know that something is horribly wrong. If the narcissist has done a good enough job on you in regards to projection and manipulation tactics, you may well believe that it’s you that’s wrong.

Getting out and away is not in itself the solution

The pain keeps going, and doesn’t let up even when the narcissist is no longer in your life, and actually escalates when the narcissist is gone.

This defies all contemporary logic. After all shouldn’t life and your emotions improve when the narcissist is physically removed?

Absolutely not. Why not? Because when you’re no longer in survival and hooked up in the fight, you come to a standstill and this is when the violations of what happened hits you like a freight train. Finally, you’re left alone with the full extent of the damage that happened to you with no way to avoid it. No longer are you just trying to deal with the daily anxiety and fear, you’re faced with the onslaughts of yesterday, last week, last month, last year and so forth.

This is the precarious position of ‘aftershock’, and the time when you’re most likely to return to the narcissist or inflict serious harm upon yourself by making destructive decisions that won’t serve you whilst trying to escape the pain.

These avoidance behaviours could involve resorting to numbing the pain with substances, hooking up with previous unsuccessful love connections, or worse still (and the most common side-effect), running back to the narcissist in a futile attempt to receive the love, validation and support that he was never authentically going to provide you.

Narcissists absolutely bring on ‘Stockholm Complex’; a perverse attachment to an individual who is terrorising you and holding you hostage. (To understand more about the addiction process of narcissism and Repetitive Compulsion Disorder please see my eBook ‘How to Recognise and Heal from Narcissistic Abuse’.)

Narcissistic abuse defies all logic

Let’s get very clear about this: The behaviour of narcissists doesn’t make logic sense

The way narcissists operate goes against all of our conditioning and programming in regard to a sane model of humankind, and to acknowledge, let alone accept that there are people that create love relationships that don’t have the capacity to genuinely feel compassion or to have a healthy level of conscience, defies all morality.

Especially when deciding that this person by the very definition of love is supposed to care for and love you.

How can you compartmentalise the vile manipulations, lies, twists and turns and the incredulous behaviour that obviously create pain and destruction in relationships, despite the narcissist saying and declaring that he or she does want a relationship with you and does want to love and be loved by you?

How could this logically be true when so much of what we experienced was the exact opposite, and our emotions were screaming out ‘abuse’ rather than ‘love’?

The reasons why narcissistic abuse demands specialised solutions

The problem regarding contemporary therapy for the recovery of narcissistically abusing relationships is this:

Narcissism does not produce ‘normal’ relationship breakdowns or breakups. In contemporary troubled relationships there are feelings of loss and pain, possible remorse, ‘what if’s’, and maybe even the guilt or shame of messing it up, or the resentment that someone else messed it up.

These inevitable emotions naturally can be agonising, and may take some time to sort through, resolve and heal, with the goal being eventual acceptance and reestablishment of self.

Contemporary therapy may provide the answers for ‘normal’ relationship breakdowns and issues, but it must be remembered that those answers lie within the realm of accepted and known human functionality. In such a case the average human does have the ability to ‘move on’ and create a life again, even if the ‘patterns’ and education as to why the choice of partner wasn’t appropriate, or the level of emotional maturity to create and sustain a relationship is not properly addressed.

Yet the narcissistically affected relationship break up is a completely different ball game. The victim of a narcissist feels like they have been raped on every level. Emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and usually financially, the person who has sustained narcissistic abuse will be severely damaged, deranged and will have very little ability to reconcile what seems to be ‘irreconcilable’.

There are many hooks regarding narcissism that feel virtually impossible to let go of, heal and gain acceptance around. Sadly these hooks will keep the victim ‘chained’ to the narcissist emotionally at the very least (obsessed by the injustice and pain), and may even keep the victim ‘going back in’ to try to regain some sense of self, closure and resolution.

They are:

• The extreme behaviour of the Jekyll / Hyde personality. The narcissist presented ‘everything’ that was desired in a partner, yet the narcissist became an atrocious enemy within the relationship.
• The intense love that is felt towards a narcissist (as a result of the initial ‘perfect’ image) creates the impulse to fix and repair the problems, regardless of the damage sustained in order to get that ‘perfect partner’ back.
• The partner of a narcissist often can’t face the reality of the failure to fix and salvage the relationship after so much effort, energy and emotions has already been invested in it.
• The inability to fathom, or accept how someone the victim loved (who purported to love the victim) could hurt, maim and deceive continuously without conscience.
• The trying to get the narcissist to recognise and take some responsibility for what they’ve done and how much damage they’ve created.
• The substantial losses in walking away from the narcissist seem too much to bear. Not only is there the loss of ‘the dream’, there is also usually losses on many levels – due to the mining / parasitical nature of the narcissist having sucked the victim dry.
• The pain of injustice as a result of bearing one’s soul to a narcissist, who has manipulated the relationship to this level, and then turned this information and trust against the victim as a weapon. This brings about feelings of rage, pain, fear and revenge in victims.
• Feeling sorry for the narcissist when observing the damaged child that the narcissist is, thus taking on the feelings of responsibility, or being manipulated into feeling that it is the victim’s duty to fix the narcissist.

I could write another 10 points to this list at least. As a rational unaffected person standing back observing this list and never having been affected by a narcissistic relationship, it may seem to be commonsense to walk away from the narcissist and never look back. However, let me tell you this, I totally espouse that it is intelligent and strong individuals that get hooked on narcissists; competitive people that often have been able to make other areas of their life work despite the odds. In other words, the battlers and survivors of the world that can turn their life around.

It’s true that sometimes narcissistically abused people fit the mould of being insipid with low self-esteem, but this is not generally the people that narcissists go after. They tend to seek out strong, capable and even successful people that will hang on for grim life (try to fix the problems) whilst providing the security, resources, status and power that narcissists crave. Such an individual who will stick around and grant the goodies is a wonderful target to mine and strip. At the very least narcissists will go for individuals who are strong enough to give and give to others; generally people with a strong sense of compassion, integrity and conscience.

The problem with narcissistically abused individuals is not that they are too weak to let go. It is that they’re convinced they can handle it, find a solution and fix the narcissist. They are too attached to the fear of losing the battle, failing, and facing all the accompanying losses.

Contemporary cognitive therapy does not address the issues

The terrorising twists and turns of narcissism that defy logic create enormous emotional charges of pain. It’s impossible to reach resolution and let go when racked with these powerful feelings. You know that you should let go, but all of the hooks will keep you attached to the battle.

The truth is all human beings are controlled by feelings. We may be able to get some answers in our head, but unless we feel these answers and gain peace around them it’s impossibility for us to feel safe, healthy, empowered and at peace enough to take the focus off the narcissist and get on with life.

Additionally, Post Traumatic Stress is an enormous factor of narcissistic abuse. It only takes one trigger, word, scene or memory for the fight and flee panic attacks to start and the feelings of dread and the agoraphobic compulsions (desire to hide in order to stay safe) to hit.

The narcissist turns a victim’s perspective of the world completely upside down. The world, self and others becomes extremely unsafe, without any way to feel safe. Morbidly the victim will stay attached to the notion that the narcissist must fix it. This vile ‘God’ destroyed the victim’s life, and now it is only this God who can resurrect it.

I realised through my healing journey that cognitive information wasn’t enough. And even if it was, many psychologists and counsellors do not know enough about narcissism, don’t know how to identify it, and certainly may have never lived through it.

It’s common for narcissistically abused individuals to be treated as upset people suffering from a ‘normal’ relationship breakdown. Many narcissistically abused victims don’t have any understanding of narcissism, and many therapists don’t pick up on it. When patients mention ‘narcissist’ many therapists will discredit any diagnosis unless it has been clinically approved. This is ludicrous when understanding it’s extremely rare for any narcissist to be willing to be diagnosed, or even admit they need help. Virtually every narcissist in therapy will avoid any authentic disclosure, and will routinely condemn the love partner, and when confronted will discredit the therapist and discontinue.

Sadly, the victim of narcissistic abuse, who is damaged, deranged and often extremely depressed and angry, may be assessed as being the problem, and their validity may be questioned. Unfortunately this happens far too often in therapy and with law enforcement agencies, who struggle to believe the outrageous feats of narcissists; especially when pointed out by highly charged and disturbed victims.

Even purported personality disorder specialists, who do recognise narcissistic abuse will often only grant logical solutions that don’t address the insidious torment that logic can’t heal.  They also don’t offer emotional solutions to empower a victim when in the aftershock phase. The recognition in regard to narcissistic abuse in contemporary therapy too frequently is ‘Now that you’re out you’ll feel much better.’

Let’s get clear. In regard to narcissistic abuse there is no such thing as:

• Now he / she is gone you’re out, and you’re through the pain.
• Time heals all wounds.
• ‘Just get over it’.

I really hope that loved ones of narcissistically abused individuals get to read this article en masse. As a society we have to do more for the epidemic of narcissistic abuse and start offering and supporting healing and solutions that really do make a difference. Otherwise we’re looking down the barrel of more of the same, and the pain to continue. Those that are abused by narcissists, who never heal often produce offspring that are narcissistically abused, and the cycle continues.

To not recover from narcissistic abuse means emotional death, if not physical death. Many victims do suicide or manifest terminal illnesses. I have addressed dozens of cases of women 10+ years down the track that feel the intensity of pain like it happened yesterday. In fact in most cases life doesn’t get better, it gets worse. The dark descent into the pain spirals further and further down, creating a horrible cynicism, distrust, resentment, depression and withdrawal from the joy of life.

Societies way of dealing with these individuals (and there is an epidemic of them) is to medicate. This may bring some relief as a ‘bridge’, but in no way deals with the real healing process of releasing the pain from the emotional body, and replacing it with true self-empowerment.

As I have stated on my radio show ‘Empowered Love’ many times - recovery from narcissistic abuse is a make or break deal – you either become empowered or you remain shattered. There’s nothing in-between.

Victims of narcissism require emotional self-empowerment and to know they can be healthy, happy and trust themselves regardless of what life and others is or isn’t doing.

ictims of narcissists have suffered pillaging and destruction at the hands of someone who was meant to love them. They were totally invaded and ripped apart by the very person they trusted. What could be more devastating?

The cure for narcissistic abuse

I have devised a healing modality that durably and powerfully heals narcissistic abuse, and the results have stood up time and time again. The success rate is astounding and is nothing short of a miracle when compared to traditional therapy. Quanta Freedom ™ Healing addresses the emotional body directly, creating release and relief of the emotional torture of narcissism, thus allowing the subject to feel at peace and resolved without years and years of intense therapy. These shifts happen instantly.

Once the individual has experienced relief from the emotional torment, and realises the true purpose and gift of the experience as knowing, then they have the resolution and peace to move on – not just as a recovered person, but as a more empowered person than they could have ever imagined being even before their narcissistic experience.

Quanta Freedom ™ Healing has proved to be such a liberating and life-saving solution in my life and so many others, that I fully stand behind its authenticity. As such I urge you if you have been narcissistically abused, or know someone who has, to try or recommend Quanta Freedom ™ Healing. In doing so I offer you a full money back guarantee if you have any doubt about receiving the profound relief that I claim Quanta Freedom ™ Healing provides. Please also read testimonies in regard to individuals who have received Quanta Freedom ™ Healing.

Please circulate this document to individuals who you know have been affected personally and indirectly by narcissistic abuse, so that as a society we can put an end to narcissistic abuse, and create healthy and whole individuals who will never have to live through the horror of being emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually and materially abused again.

Healing from a narcissistic relationship - What you can do

Recovery from the psychological, emotional, mental and spiritual abuse of narcissism is imperative for an individual to put themselves and their life back together. Specific healing and procedures do produce the results necessary for an individual to create an empowered life where they will not be susceptible to narcissistic abuse again. In many cases the recovery from narcissism has been necessary for an individual to outgrow co-dependent childhood scripts of poor boundary function and victimisation.

Love, happiness and success are possible after suffering the effects of narcissism.

Melanie Tonia Evans

Do you think your partner or relative may be Narcissistic?   Get 2 Free eBooks 'Narcissistic Abuse - The Truth' & 'How To Do No Contact' As well as free access to New Life Newsletter, where you will receive weekly support and resources to get you real relief and your life back on track.