Healing Dysfunctional Childhood Conditioning
by Melanie Evans

In order to establish what ‘less than’ belief systems you may have operating, examine your childhood deliberately by doing the self-recognition exercise below.

The dysfunctional belief systems that we all incarnate with from past lifetimes will create the magnetising of our parents, who will always be a direct match with these dysfunctional belief systems.

Exercise:

Step 1:
Write out the negative characteristics of your parents. It is important not to feel guilty about doing this. This isn’t about ‘blame throwing’, this is self-recognition that will assist you in healing and reclaiming your right to perfect love, success and happiness. It is important that you don’t intellectualise these traits. Write out how you perceived these negative traits. However you perceived them IS exactly how you'll have experienced these negative belief systems.

Step 2:
Write about how you felt in regard to these negative traits. This is really important. Put asterisks next to the most painful situations. Use "feeling" words. For example, “I felt abandoned”, “I felt unloved”, “I felt not good enough” etc. The feelings that were the most powerfully charged are the ones that would have created the most powerful negative belief systems. Through these feelings you would have established false beliefs that will continue to play out in your life.

Step 3:
Write about significant difficult relationships you have had in your life. This may be with love partners or other important people in your life. List the negative traits of these people.

Step 4:
Match the negative traits from Step 3 with the negative traits of your parents. Can you see the patterns emerging?

Step 5:
Self reflect and see the pattern your negative belief systems have been re-creating. Make a list of these negative belief systems. For example. “I believe I am unlovable.” “I believe I don’t deserve safe and honest people in my life.”, “I believe I don’t deserve loving acceptance.” “I believe I have to be a certain way or do a certain thing to be loved and accepted” “I don’t believe I am good enough” etc.

Step 6:
Look at all these defunct belief systems. Counteract each and every one of them with a new positive belief system, such as:

• “I love and accept myself. I am lovable. I accept and deserve love.”
  
  
• “I deserve safe and genuine love.”
  
  
• “I am adequate for every situation. I am perfect exactly as I am.” etc.

Even though this is only a mini version of a self-recognition process, it can help you gain valuable self-awareness to realise that outer people are merely catalysts that are showing you your negative internal belief systems. Through the adversity outside of you, you are being offered the gift to make amendments to yourself and re-create your reality in a way that will grant you empowerment, love, success and happiness.

Work on your new belief systems and see the results!

By working on your inner world – your outer world will change beyond recognition.

The effect that our childhoods have in regard to 'less than' belief systems is explained in great detail in my book Breaking The Chains of Painful Love.

Copyright © 2007 Melanie Tonia Evans. All Rights Reserved.