Melanie Tonia Evans
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Co-Dependency Frequently Asked Questions

FAQCo-dependency has a painful mantra: 'On my own I don't feel enough'. Learn about this common and prevalent human condition by reading the answers to the commonly asked questions about co-dependency. Co-dependency is a state which keeps us focused on life outside us, to the detriment of ourselves.


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What is co-dependency?

Co-dependency is a common human condition that relates to creating ‘self’ as reliant on events and people outside of self.

Why is co-dependency painful?

It’s impossible to have control over anything or anyone in life that isn’t self. The co-dependent tries to control outer forces and people to be ‘what the co-dependent wants’ in order to feel safe, valued, validated and loved. The co-dependent, as a result of handing their ‘sense of self’ over to external forces, is damaged through losing connection with and control of self.

How serious is co-dependency?

Advanced co-dependency is an extremely serious condition, that if not addressed leads to actual self-disintegration and death (emotional death if not physical death). By having lost all ‘self’ and clinging on to damaging events and individuals, and not being able to let go in order to take care of self, co-dependents are in high-risk categories for contracting serious if not fatal diseases, (break down of immune system), committing suicide, establishing serious self-destructive addictions, and the development of psychosis. Co-dependents are also at high risk of IPV (Intimate Partner Violence) and narcissistic abuse, as the co-dependent has limited ability to stop trying to control the uncontrollable, and limited ability to stop trying to force unstable people into becoming safe and healthy partners.

How can co-dependency be treated?

I believe the best solutions are Quanta Freedom™ Healing which releases the energetic charges and beliefs holding the fears of abandonment and lack of self-acceptance / approval in place, and also engaging in a self-help journalling program (the Empowered Self eCourse) to learn how to be present with, connected to and support self. Boundary Training is essential for co-dependents, in order to learn to ‘hold their own space and power’ and not enmesh with outside sources

How long does it take to get co-dependency under control?

Standard psychology believes that recovery from co-dependency takes years. The truth is, we’re all programmed to be co-dependent to varying degrees. Co-dependency is an established human condition. By embodying an education of the Laws of Life, and how to connect to ‘source of self’, and understand how energetic manifestation takes place (the deeper / real perspective), the co-dependent can experience an emotional shift that far surpasses information and concepts alone. Relief and empowerment occur very quickly in this shift, and then it’s up to the co-dependent to reinforce this new established way of being as a life-style and self-growth program to keep experiencing the success, expansiveness and liberation of co-dependent free living.

What is the gift of co-dependency?

Co-dependents have been living the illusion that they don’t have the resources to provide and create their own source of ‘self’, love, safety and happiness. By handing their power over to life and others and being damaged, the co-dependent has the opportunity to have ‘had enough’ of the pain, and to take responsibility for being the creator of their own truth, regardless of what life and others are or aren’t doing. This then frees the previous co-dependent to experience the power of attracting and connecting to people and situations that do represent ‘what they want’ authentically, and relives them of the need to try and fix and change damaged circumstances and people in order to become healthy. Co-dependency is the ultimate experience of pain that gives individuals ‘back to themselves’; therefore creating a life of freedom, self-love, self-acceptance and self-validation, and an activation of the self-resources that attract and maintain genuine love, support, happiness and success into one’s life.

More Questions?
We hope you've received some answers to your questions about Co-Dependency.
If you have a question which wasn't answered here, please ask your Co-Dependency question here.

Read more about Co-Dependency in the eBook "How To Recognise and Heal Co-Dependency".


You can turn around your experience of feeling reliant, anxious and needy, and become a force in life who feels ‘full’, happy and safe. Learn how to attract the life and love you wish to live.


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