Narcissistic Personality Disorder, also known as narcissism, is a societal problem in epidemic proportions, which seriously compromises the sustaining of healthy and safe love relationships.
This quiz and the questions have been developed as a result of several years of research, in regard to my own personal experience and the experiences of thousands of clients.
Please note I am neither a qualified psychologist nor a qualified counsellor and I offer my insights and advice for guidance only. If the results of this quiz cause concern, you may wish to seek further advice.
You can take the following quiz of 101 questions to discover your own degree of narcissism, and to understand what level of narcissism you may be experiencing, or have experienced from a suspected narcissistic love-partner.
Everyone to some extent is ‘narcissistic’. Healthy narcissism means that you have the ability to get your needs met without damaging other people whilst doing so. Unhealthy narcissism is at play when individuals operate to an ‘I win / you lose’ model, which purposely undermines and diminishes other people.
When doing the quiz to ascertain your own levels of narcissism, if you don’t have a present love partner, answer the questions based on previous love partner ‘patterns’.
When doing the quiz for a suspected narcissistic person, answer the questions on their behalf to the best of your ability.
The results will only be valid if you answer the questions honestly.
QUESTIONS - Tick appropriate box to the right
HIGHER POWER AND GLOBAL
1. Do you dismiss a ‘higher power’ and feel that you alone are your power?
2. Do you believe in consumerism, and enjoy getting ‘stuff’ without thought for the environment?
3. Do you have difficulty in feeling compassion for other individuals and the world in general if the event in question doesn’t involve you?
4. Do you feel like it’s you against the world?
5. Do you enjoy being the centre of attention?
6. When in a group and other people are gaining attention do you feel uncomfortable, annoyed or depressed?
7. Do you feel angry or disturbed when your love partner is receiving positive attention from other people?
8. Do you enjoy showing people how good you are a particular task, and feel motivated by their praise mostly as the reason to assist them?
9. Do you feel resentful when other people receive praise and you don’t?
10. Do you feel resentful when your love partner receives praise from other people?
11. Have you ever tried to discredit someone who is getting praise, or left the scene when others are praised because it upsets you?
12. Do you find it much easier to give of yourself to people outside the relationship rather than your love partner?
13. Do you feel angry and upset when seeing other people achieve and accomplish success and good things?
14. Do you feel angry and upset when viewing other people’s happiness?
15. Do you feel angry and upset when something outside the relationship makes your partner happy?
16. Do you feel angry or upset when your partner talks about other people in a complimentary way?
17. Do you feel repulsion or disdain towards doing things to make your partner happy?
REVENGE AND VENGEANCE
18. When you believe a love partner does something bad to you, do you feel that you want to get back at them?
19. Have you ever felt that you wanted to destroy an associate’s life?
20. Have you ever felt that you’ve wanted to destroy a love partner’s life?
21. Have you ever sabotaged, hidden or damaged the property of your love partner in order to disable his or her operations?
22. Have you ever pretended to be sick or have an illness to gain attention?
23. Do you feel resentful when your partner is sick or has an illness?
24. When feeling angry or insecure do you take it out on associates?
25. When feeling angry or insecure do you take it out on your love partner?
26. When feeling angry or upset do you place the blame on your love partner?
27. Do you feel that abiding by laws and regulations makes you feel ‘ordinary’ and ‘controlled’?
28. Have you ever lied to, stolen from or falsified information to organisations?
29. Have you had court cases against systems or organisations or bad credit ratings?
30. Do you struggle to comply to your love partner’s wishes when he or she asks you to do something?
31. Do you often feel moody when not receiving attention, or when you spend time alone?
32. When moody are you so absorbed in the mood that you don’t care how it affects other people?
33. Do you enjoy that your moods can affect other people and bring their mood down?
34. Do you have rapid mood swings, feeling high, energetic and animated and then suddenly crashing into depression?
35. Do you make promises that you don’t uphold to associates?
36. Do you make promises that you don’t uphold to your love partner?
37. Do you tell your love partner that you were going to do something that they wanted, and now you won’t because of their actions?
38. Have you exaggerated or lied about your achievements and qualifications in order to gain recognition or trust from associates?
39. Have you lied about your achievements and qualifications to your love partner?
40. Does it anger or upset you when other people don’t recognise your skills and abilities?
41. Does it anger you when your love partner doesn’t praise you?
42. Do you like to be known as the authority on matters that you talk about and struggle to take direction and mentoring from others?
43. When you don’t get what you want, do you feel angry and resentful towards people that don’t do what you want?
44. When your love partner doesn’t comply with your wishes do you express anger or resentment towards him or her?
45. Do you struggle to accept criticism from associates?
46. Do you struggle to accept criticism from your love partner?
47. If you’re confronted by associates about a problem they have with you, do you become defensive, evasive or annoyed?
48. When your love partner confronts you with a problem about you do you become defensive, evasive or annoyed?
49. Do you regularly lie to associates about you and your life, other people and minor details and to get your own way?
50. Do you regularly lie to your love partner in order to get your own way?
51. Do you think that people who ‘do the right thing’ will never get ahead in life?
52. Do you think that people who are loving, compassionate and caring are vulnerable and weak?
53. Do you feel repulsion, disdain or disinterest towards your love partner when he or she offers you love and compassion?
LACK OF EMPATHY
54. Do you purposely say words and do actions that associates get upset or angered about?>
55. Do you purposely say words and do actions without taking into account your love partner’s feelings that cause him or her emotional pain or distress?
56. Do you struggle to care about associates’ feelings when you upset or anger them?
57. Do you struggle to care about your partner’s feelings when you upset or anger him or her?
58. When people are hurt or distressed, and it’s nothing to do with you, do you tend not to care and don’t feel motivated to offer them assistance?
59. When your love partner is hurt or distressed, and it’s nothing to do with you, do you feel disinterested, agitated, angry or resentful that he or she wants your assistance and support?
LACK OF ACCOUNTABILITY
60. When you’re wrong, do you find it difficult to be accountable and admit your mistakes?
61. When you’re wrong and make mistakes do you try to push the blame onto other people?
62. Do you use allies in conversations to back up your arguments?
63. When confronted do you try to change the subject, and / or start blaming the other person for something they did rather than stick to the topic?
64. Do you struggle to apologise to your love partner when he or she is in pain as a result of your actions, and if you do, know that you the apology is insincere?
65. Do you distrust your love partner and suspect them of cheating on you, deceiving you or using you?
66. Do you accuse your love partner of cheating on you, deceiving you or using you?
67. Do you demonstrate jealousy and possessiveness towards your love partner?
68. Do you have distrust for people in general, and feel that they have an agenda in their dealings with you?
69. When trying to get your way do you try to make people feel confused, guilty or wrong?
70. When trying to get your way do you try to make your love partner feel confused, guilty or wrong?
71. Do you use personal information you have gleaned from associates in order to upset, hurt or manipulate them?
72. Do you use personal information you have gleaned from your love partner in order to upset, hurt or manipulate him or her?
73. Have you ever threatened or blackmailed associates with information in order to get your own way?
74. Have you ever threatened or blackmailed your love partner with information in order to get your own way?
75. Do you gain people’s trust so that you can extract personal information from them?
76. Did you gain your love partner’s trust in order to extract personal information from him or her?
77. Have you ever told associates what they want to hear and feigned love, consideration, support or kindness in order to get them to do what you want them to do?
78. Have you ever pretended to be loving, caring or supportive, or made promises to your love partner in order to get your own way or maintain the relationship?
79. Do you keep contact with love or sexual interests without your love partner’s knowledge?
80. Have you ever procured or contacted other love or sexual interests when ignored or not getting what you want from your love partner?
81. Do you feel happier when your love partner doesn’t know what you’re up to and where you are?
82. Have you had affairs, sexual flirtations or encounters that you have hidden from your love partner?
83. Have you ever stolen money, property or articles from your love partner?
84. Have you ever infiltrated your love partner’s personal property, private details or sensitive information, such as mail, bank accounts, diary, journal etc.?
85. Have you ever discredited your love partner to other people in order to damage their reputation?
86. Have you ever discredited your love partner in order to cause them to lose associates, family or friends?
87. Have you ever discredited your love partner in order to gain attention and sympathy from other people?
88. Do you enjoy other people thinking that your love partner is mentally unstable, and the relationship problems are their fault?
89. Do you ever use vengeance, threats and intimidation with associates to get your own way?
90. Have you ever exhibited vengeance, threats and intimidation towards your love partner?
91. Do you enjoy knowing that love or sexual interests are thinking about you, and may be upset in regard to the way you treated or treat them?
92. Does it anger or upset you when past love partners move on and create a fulfilling life?
93. Do you feel satisfaction when previous love partners feel pain and struggle to move on in their life after being connected to you?
94. Have you ever had a love partner who suicided, was institutionalised, or who was unable to function effectively as a result of their involvement with you, and this made you feel important?
95. Do you enjoy love interests reacting badly and chasing after you when you ignore them, leave the scene or break off relationships with them?
96. When your love partner is distressed and feeling powerless does this make you feel powerful and satisfied?
97. If a love partner returns to the relationship after leaving you, do you punish your love partner, and resent what happened in their life without you?
98. Have you flaunted affairs, sexual flirtations or encounters real or imagined to purposefully upset and anger your love partner?
MISOGYNY (for men)
99. Do you use offensive language in front of women and children?
100. Have you ever called your partner a ‘whore’ or ‘slut’?
101. Have you ever hit, physically overpowered, raped, or physically injured a woman?
Subtotal - Add up your ticks here:
5 points for every YES 2 points for every SOMETIMES 0 points for every NEVER
You’re definitely not narcissistic, and are mostly at peace with yourself, other individuals and the world. There may be times where you do, however, struggle to make sure your needs are met, and you may tend to, at times, ‘stand at the back of the line’ and not assert yourself healthily.
You possess a healthy level of narcissism. You assert yourself in order to get your own needs met whilst displaying genuine conscience, empathy and compassion for other individuals. You’re human and at times be triggered by fear, insecurity or anger, however, you take responsibility for owning and dealing with your own emotions.
51 – 100
You suffer from some emotional insecurity, and can battle with your ego. You may have co-dependency issues where you feel that your own feelings are reliant on what other people are or aren’t doing. You may feel abandoned, left out and unloved by others if they are validating your significance to you. You may leave yourself open to abuse from others.
You suffer from emotional insecurities that are diminishing your ability to love yourself, others and enjoy life. There is a definite need for you to empower yourself and work on releasing your fears and insecurities. Although you are insecure and can project these insecurities onto others, you do have a conscience, possess compassion for humankind and do not purposefully set out to hurt other people for your own gain. You may be co-creating abusive situations.
Your insecurities are negatively affecting you and your life severely. You will be greatly diminished in your ability to procure and sustain a healthy love relationship. If you are in a love relationship it’s likely to be fraught with difficulties. The problems are not going to change until you take responsibility and seek the help and information that is required for you to overcome your insecurities. It’s likely that you are often the perpetrator in your relationships, and cause angst to others
Unhealthy narcissism is at play, and your life is often viewed as ‘what can I get’ instead of genuinely contributing to and caring for others. It will be difficult for you to sustain healthy relationships and establish consistency and durability in your life. There is the ability for you to create your ‘self’ and establish a healthy life, but it will take concerted effort. It’s highly suggested that you don’t engage in personal love relationships (if single) until you have worked on yourself. If you’re in a relationship it’s likely that your love partner will also require assistance for their recovery of self.
It’s probable that you suffer from Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and this disorder severely affects you and other people in your environment. You cause damage to other people and suffer from hubris and egoic delusions and behaviours.
It’s probable that you suffer from Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and this disorder severely affects you and other people in your environment. You cause damage to other people and suffer from hubris and high-level egoic delusions and behaviours.
480 – 505
It’s probable that you suffer from Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and this disorder severely affects you and other people in your environment. You cause damage to other people and suffer from hubris and extreme levels of egoic delusions and behaviours.
MELANIE’S PERSONAL STORY OF RECOVERY FROM NARCISSITIC ABUSE
Are you a man who has been narcissistically abused?