In Only 3 Months I Healed My Crippling Fear Of My Ex Husband With NARP
My Thriver Story
To me, my upbringing appeared normal, healthy and happy. But growing up I experienced abusive boyfriends and toxic friendships so much that I was actually put off by kind, healthy people.
In my last long relationship I finally discovered the truth about some of my past and existing relationships for what they were – abusive and unhealthy.
When I met my ex husband I thought he was the love of my life, I was swept away and he appeared to have all that I desired. Through our relationship I ignored my gut feelings leading up to the day I was about to give birth to my son, and then my life changed.
I started to feel very unsafe and his behaviour got worse. I wanted to leave but stayed. Then my worst nightmare happened. My ex husband went against my wishes and I did the one thing that went against everything I believed and valued – I got an abortion. At the time I felt I would have stayed if I didn’t. From that day I made a promise to myself that I would never let anyone treat me this way again and I left.
I sought support from psychologists and counsellors, they helped me to see what I was going through and what domestic violence is. Understanding what a narcissist is was scary yet helpful, but I didn’t understand why it was happening and my intense feelings of anxiety remained very high.
When I left my abusive relationship I fled to my parents house and one night I remember talking to my family and realising that I had to go to court. I couldn’t cope with the thought, I had an intense fear that my son would be taken away from me because my ex husband convinced me he was.
I felt my brain was going to snap and unravel in all different directions. I raced to buy cigarettes for some reason, I wasn’t smoking at the time and rang my closest friends one at a time to try and remove this feeling but the feeling didn’t go. Nothing helped, the cigarettes, alcohol, people … in that fragile moment I knew it was up to me, only me, to do this.
I didn’t fully understand what needed to be done to help myself until I started working with NARP.
I had a lot of trauma, I was overwhelmed, and I was having so many thoughts during my first Quanta Freedom Healings, such as, “I can’t do this, I’m too tired, it’s not working, I’m the narcissist, there’s too much damage, I’ll never heal …”
But something changed for me. Usually in the past when I’ve had big breakdowns and cried and cried I would fall asleep, then wake up the next day and my eyes would be so puffy and red it looked like I had a double whack of conjunctivitis. I did healings one night, and cried and cried and then fell asleep. The next day I woke up and had no puffiness, no redness, I looked younger, healthier, and I felt refreshed. I knew in that instant NARP was something amazing and worth continuing.
After just 2 weeks of using NARP I stopped drinking. This was big, I was drinking a lot and had since I was a teenager. I’ve been using NARP for 3 months and have not touched a drink, it’s not a battle for me, it just is.
Within myself a lot has healed, my anxiety reduced significantly, I started sleeping better, had more energy, no stomach cramps and digestive issues, no more headaches too. For the first time I allowed myself to feel all my emotions and see them all as good, as helpful, as a part of me.
I allowed myself to smile, laugh and feel happy for the first time without looking around me, waiting to be criticised, questioned or punished.
Then I started to Thrive and I had some more BIG shifts! I started to love myself, accept myself, be myself and care for myself. I am starting to live more – I’m getting out of my house more, riding my bike, walking, doing more of what makes my Soul smile.
My biggest shift came the day I let go of my fear. I stopped fearing my ex husband, this was HUGE for me. I feared this man to my core. I used to check the front door late at night, shaking with fear in case he would be there ready to kill me. Then, one day when I went to collect my son, for the first time, being in my ex-husband’s presence did not bother me at all. It was a miracle for me to get there.