Monica's Inspiring Thriver Story Of Enduring Years Of Brutal Treatment Will Transfix You
The narcissist in my life was my now ex-husband. When we first met I was a single mom of 3 amazing children. My son age 10 and my daughters 9 and 7.
I should have run far and fast but he was an amazing cook, father figure, he was loyal, honest and listened. The sex was amazing, I felt beautiful and sexy.
Soon red flags popped up, usually after a night of drinking. The verbal abuse was towards me and my kids. It got worse when I was pregnant.
I had to be on bed rest but I still had to maintain the house and pay the bills. The abuse increased again when our son was born, I almost had a mental breakdown.
This wasn’t good for me or my kids but I couldn’t leave. I had a baby, debt, 4 kids, nowhere to go, no money and no support.
I tried to leave but he promised to quit drinking and being an asshole, he said if I left he would take our son from me.
We went to counselling and he slowed down the drinking and changed for about 6 months. My next pregnancy was the worst ever for abuse. My older children were the targets. I lived in a bubble in my room just to keep my baby inside me as long as I could.
The night she was born, he showed up drunk and was abusive to me while I was in labour. I knew then and there I was leaving.
He forced me to have sex with him even after I had a traumatic birth. I told him it hurt – my spirit went somewhere else.
After I got on my phone and found an apartment online, I was starting over from scratch with my 5 kids.
I saw a lawyer and followed her advice to a tee. I told him on the Friday I want a divorce. We went to therapist that made me out to be the crazy one leaving this “amazingly insightful husband”.
He tried to have sex with me, I kicked and punched back. I won this time.
That Saturday my 5 kids and I left.
I was on maternity leave with 5 kids ages 18,17,15, 2 and 2 months. I was getting $336 a week from the government. I couldn’t pay all the bills, buy food or anything. He refused to support me and his children. We began litigation.
He still had access to my 2 youngest and verbally abused me at every exchange. My older kids and I were in therapy but I would get triggered and I cried in the shower so my kids wouldn’t hear me.
One day after he verbally abused me I was in the bath and had thoughts of drowning myself or imagined my car crashing or being hit by a truck.
My cousin told me he was a narcissist, I began researching.
Everything I read felt like my own life. I went back to my therapist but she didn’t get it and discarded it.
Then I found Mel and NARP. On my first Quanta Freedom Healing session I had a huge cry, yelling and shaking then release and felt amazing after 4 shifts.
I ordered NARP Gold and did one session every day. I felt stronger, healthier and more like myself.
At court, the judge ruled to split the family home 50-50, child support for the younger two and spousal support until I return to work. I felt the judge saw him for what he was.
We return to court in a couple of months for custody and access to the two little ones.
My kids and I are now living in the new home I bought with the settlement.
I am no longer living in fear of being abused or raped. He no longer says a word to me at access exchanges and I feel nothing when I look at him.
When I get triggered, I just go straight to Module 1 and think about the beautiful people, experiences, blessings and things I have in my life.
You can get out. If you do, the mud will start to wash off, it will start to slip off, dry up and brush off. The rainbow will come. Just breathe and feel your strong soul in there.
I believe I chose this path, to go into the darkness, into the mud just so I would evolve and become more enlightened. After 2 abusive relationships I have come out of this one better than ever.
UPDATE: Monica let us know that she had a breakthrough in her custody battle in October – “The courts are finally done 🙂 I was granted primary care of my children. Joint custody and they are with me 65% of the time.”