Susan Felt Helpless She Could Ever Be Helped Until She Really Committed To Narp Gold
An altruistic narcissist I had been serious with in my 20s came back into my life when I was going through my divorce. He was more supportive to me than anyone had ever been. He told me he adored me. I couldn’t believe I could feel this way at age 51.
We had a long distance relationship for part of the 6 years we were together, seeing each every few weeks.
First it was amazing but then I found myself off kilter, apologizing and feeling guilty.
He’d share emails from a female “friend”, an old girlfriend and his ex wife and when I expressed my discomfort, he would blow up and not answer the phone.
He’d disappear for a week and I’d be in a dissociated state on the couch until he’d call and tell me he loved me.
In 2015 I moved to live with him. It quickly took a downward turn. I was always walking on eggshells, he screamed obscenities at me and ignored me when I got home.
And yet, I just couldn’t leave. I was physically exhausted, mentally confused and thought about suicide daily. Then searching to see if I had a mental illness, I found Melanie. I felt relief and the pieces fit.
I got the Silver Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program (NARP) and did Module 1 for a week. I had to save my own life. Within a month, I moved out and have been No Contact ever since. I didn’t continue with NARP right away.
I moved to California in April 2019. I was ashamed for having to start over financially, socially and professionally. I felt hopeless that I could ever be helped.
In 2 years I was not healing and I truly believed NARP was my last chance.
This time I gave it my full commitment. I upgraded to Gold for the Forum and NARPed 1 to 3 hours a day.
I’m at the beginning of my healing journey but already this is so much better than what I’ve experienced most of my life so I’ll keep going, one Module at a time.
I am trusting that NARP will continue to help move me in the direction of my soul’s health and I’m so grateful for these tools and this community. For the first time in my entire life, I know healing is absolutely possible.